An ode to the joy of childrearing, on the first day of Spring.'Anklebiter', you who breed?
Too cute! I call it Demon Seed!
My ire may wane if e'er I spawn:
Until then: FIE on those who fawn
On Human Larva, filled with poop!
It screams until its parents droop!
Its head is big, it smells like pee
And years 'til University!
It's shrill! It drools! It stinks! It whines!
It kicks my seat! This is not fine!
And worst of all; parental slaves
Want patience when it misbehaves?
I'm supposed to think that's cute?
DISSECT the horrid little brute!
It should not be seen nor heard
'Til it no longer reeks of turds!
I say keep it from my sight
Until such time as it's polite!
And also spare my suff’ring ears
Until it's trained to bring me beer!
Why should I give my assent?
They can be made by accident!
Apologies to readers with kids: it's not YOUR kids I'm talking about.
(but probably because I haven't met them)
>:-)
OK, OK, fine. Welcome to the world, little Isaac.
Now kindly shut your boobhole.
