They say that it's just when you're feeling happy and confident on your own that someone wonderful comes along and completely messes up your program. Yep, Matty met someone good. To be fair, her program has also been messed up, so at least we're reeling together.

She's moved in with me temporarily while her place is being repaired from a fire. It's a pretty interesting way to begin a relationship. She's been married before, so this kind of domesticity is normal for her. I, on the other hand, have never lived with a girlfriend. But it's good. It feels somehow more normal than living alone. I have to get over a few things, though...I have to learn to let her do things around the house. I have a pretty well-developed sense of Hostness, and it's kind of tricky to wrap my head around the fact that she is not really a guest, and I don't necessarily have to provide for and clean up after both of us all the time.

It's not that I expect her to do her share of the cooking and cleaning...more that I shouldn't feel guilty when she does it. Since she started staying with me, I've been pretty bent out of shape about the state of the house...I wanted it to be tidy because in my head I had a guest. It had got really messy during the month I was sick because I couldn't really move very far or fast, so I couldn't really do much to remedy the situation. But it turns out that she has the exact same pragmatic tolerance for mess as I have...she's cool with it if circumstances dictate that it can't be dealt with immediately. Yes! She is not an OCD neat freak! A blind eye to cat hair is also a plus.

I must say that it's fun to have someone to cook for. I'm a pretty decent cook, but I'd fallen into bad habits of eating crap such as the dollar pizza down the block (disgusting yet delicious), grazing on whatever I find around the house, or not eating at all and getting all grumpy. It's tricky to cook for one, and it's sad that it's often cheaper and more efficient to eat garbage. The girl is in school so has also been eating crap because of time constraints. It's fun to surprise her with dinner when she gets home, and to be surprised with dinner when I get home. I'm also realizing how cool it is to finally have a girlfriend whose dietary preferences are compatible with mine (i.e. omnivorous and adventurous). No pussyfooting around! If get a jones for goat curry with lotus root, I can make it and she'll eat it! No vegetarian whining or 'I don’t think I like that because it looks funny' shinola. Alimentary compatibility! A secret to a good relationship!

The cocoon seems to be folding itself tightly around me. Recent experiences with dating made me realize that I was happier puttering at home than out with a date. Then I got a kitten and mostly stayed home to play with her...she was always happy to see me when I got home. I still went out a bit for some social contact, but forays outside the house apart from duties at work were mostly utilitarian. Leave, obtain supplies, intoxicants and entertainment options, return. Now with companionship (and yes, nookie) right in the house, there is little urge to leave at all.

The cocoon is seductive. It's cozy. It's warm. It's happy. And there's attractive company in there for makin' out with. But you have to be careful you don't suffocate.

We sense the cocoon. We fear the cocoon. We recognize that the cocoon is what creates dangerous codependency. So this weekend we decided to go do a bunch of drugs and hang out with crazies. 'Good call!' cried the happy couple!

We went to this ravelike thing called The Orange Party. A bunch of Burning Man types put it on every June, but last year's party got postponed...the party was a tad chilly, but it's been a mild winter. There was a strict dress code...you had to be thoroughly orange or you would not be admitted. Luckily, orange garbage bags were available to kit out the few who’d been unable to visit the thrift stores. I had a couple of orange t-shirts already, but we quickly discovered that orange pants for a 6'1", 225-lb dude are a little hard to come by. So I went with leggings and a sarong-type thing. I discovered that I have nice legs and an oh-so-hot ass! Man, in some alternate reality I'd totally whistle at me! I discovered many years ago while wearing kilts to Celtic rock shows that women love a man in a skirt. This fact was thoroughly reinforced amongst the Orange lassies. Sadly, I also discovered that the porta-potty-avoiding advantage for outdoor parties gained by the wearing of kilts (peeing in the bushes is even easier!) is severely hampered by the wearing of skintight garments with no fly.

The Orange Party was staged at a small house in an industrial area of a suburb...perfect to prevent noise complaints. I have no idea how long it would have taken to orange up the house and property...pretty much all the walls, ceilings, and lights were orange...most of the outside yard was covered with orange tarps. There were tunnels and strange doorways to different sections of the party, with orange-clad people stuffed into every nook and cranny. There were three bands, two stages, and a DJ in the sweaty orange basement. There was a snack table with carrots, Ritz crackers, cheddar cheese, and oranges, of course. There was the requisite amount of freaky nakedness and e-fuelled polyamorous lunacy going on...pretty much par for the course for this kind of thing.

This is the kind of place where in the past, I've had a total blast and made out with pretty girls. It's about the first time I've been to such a place whilst attached. This time, I certainly appreciated the friendly atmosphere and the effort put into all the Orangeness. But I wandered around for a while, met the friendly hippies, then realized that I already had what most people are seeking when they go to parties. I was amused, but mostly just wanted to go home with the girl. Turns out the girl was down with that, so home we went.

I guess it's ok to hang out in the cocoon is ok if you can step out of it now and then and get some fresh air (and other refreshing substances). Respect and appreciation for the cocoon, without addiction to it. Maybe this living together thing will work nicely.

Now I just have to think of something tasty to make for dinner tonight. Any dlanders out there got any favourite recipes to share? I'm thinking maybe duck à l'orange. With carrot soup.